I think i should start at the beginning. i met my husband when i was 19 we rushed it to our relationship the day we met we felt this connection that i have never felt before. two months after we met we got married just before we were to be married i found out i was pregnant with our first daughter. two years into our marrage i found out he lied about almost everything he told me and continued to lie to me. when i got pregnant with our second he told me he would always tell me the truth. when my youngest was a almost one i found out he lied again. at this point i had alread started building a wall around my feelings. so mush so that i did not feel anything for him and the only reason i stayed was for my girl. in august of this year we took a trip where i had a friend and one thing let to another and i slept with him. i felt so bad after that i told my husband when we got home the thought of hurting him that was tore me up inside. he for gave me and our relationship got better for about 2 months. now we are fighting and i wonder if he is telling me the truth about somethings we are going through. I still feel guilty for what i did. i never thought i would do that to someone else no matter how i felt.

he says he trust me but i am still having trouble trusting him. i have never had a great relationship and have alway had trouble trusting men and it seems that as soon as i did trust him he showed me he couldn't be trusted.

how do i get our relationship to be better and for me to trust him again? i've suggested going to someone who could help us but all he says is that we don't have the money for that kind of thing.

if you have any advise i would love to hear it.
thanks