Thank you for the reply.
I think that of the 3 points that you stated # 2 hits it right on the head!
"You have changed dramatically and she needs the time to witness that the course of this positive change isn’t reversible and that she is allowed to trust the newly emerging person and relationship."
The reason that I fully believe that this is where she is at right now is that
I had made brief attempts at changing before, especially after the first time that we almost went through a divorce. I got scared of losing her and would try and change. The underlying problem back then with me is that I was still at the pointing fingers stage. Rather than seeing that I was the one who was generating a lot of the problems, I would blame her.
Things would be ok for a week or so and then I would drift right back into the same old groove once again. Frankly.. I think that I was the one that was bitter inside and really didn't feel that I needed to change. I thought that she should be the one to go through the effort to conform to me and my selfish ways. This cycle would continue for the last few years. Getting ok and then getting bad again.
After seeing myself through her eyes was when the lights finally came on.
I began to see that I was the one that really needed to change.
I've always heard people say that you can't change your spouse, that has to happen of their own accord. They have to be the one that wants to change and no matter how much you try, it won't happen.
I thank God for being able to see myself in another light, not liking what I saw and realizing that I HAD to change. It became much easier after that and I've become the type of person now who is quick to forgive and slow to blame.
I feel great about myself inside and out and it reflects in the way that I relate to my wife and family.
I think that she's kind of taken back and looking at me like.. Wow! You really are different. But at the same time I think that she needs the time to make sure that I don't fall back into that groove that I used to.
I know in my heart that I won't, I guess that it will just take time for her to realize that what she sees now, really is here to stay forever. It's really great now to look in her eyes and see the love that I haven't seen for many years.

Bryan