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Scot McKay · #6 (**permalink**) January 10th, 2007, 01:50 PM

Quote: "I've started doing things like making date nights and sending the kids to the grandparents, holding hands and opening doors, cards, flowers, little love notes. In addition to cleaning the whole house on a daily basis. She's always met with a smile and told how much I love her."

Quote: "When she came into the bathroom and saw this she gave me a funny look and told me that I'm moving too fast and need to back off that she needs time. After swallowing the large lump in my throat I agreed to slow down. She said that I'm an entirely different person now and she needs to get to know that person once again before making love."

You, my friend, are in danger of landing in the dreaded "Just Be Friends" zone with your own wife.

Consider how men who are "Nice Guys" and not a challenge at all are almost universally met with disinterest by sharp women. This is because something innate tells the woman that the man has put himself in an inferior/subservient position to her. This causes her to lose respect for the man.

Often you'll hear a woman speak to her friends about not 'feeling it' for a certain guy despite his 'doing everything right'.

Let's consider the example you cited. Look at the amazing thing you did for your wife in preparing a bath for the both of you. Essentially, she told you she wasn't interested, and showed ZERO appreciation for it.

Would you in a million years ever respond to her like that if she did something as great for you?

Of course you wouldn't. But you "swallowed a large lump in your throat" and capitulated. Why? Because you want to be a "nice guy" and avoid conflict at all costs.

This was a test. You did not pass it, and are guilty as charged: Failure to create attraction.

There's no need to be short tempered and frustrated over things as you used to be, but you've allowed the pendulum to swing too far in the other direction. Remember "male behavior" does not equal "bad behavior". Being the "nice guy" or an "Idiot/Jerk" (as I call it) are NOT the only options. Be masculine, show leadership, have things handled. But please stop doing all the housework.