Arlene, it was lovely to wake up this morning and have this response waiting for me. Everything you say, I agree with, fully. I've known these things for a while now, and I've been letting my fear that "it's already too late to change" stop me from doing just that...this past week I have taken a step back and gone into myself, allowing MYSELF to sort of purge thoughts/fears, etc...through meditation, long walks, creating art & yoga. I had this fear that if I did that, retreated a little bit, my husband would be hurt or misunderstand and it would be a never problem altogether, but the opposite has proven true...he reaches for my hand, guides me into rooms with his hand on my back, small dating gestures that I've needed but by demanding this attention, wasn't getting. And now, having decided that you're right, I am in charge of my life, I can see the positive changes already...and suddenly my husband is free to focus on what he needs to focus on. And for once I don't see that as neglect, but I'm overflowing with happiness that he feels the freedom to do that.

Thank you Arlene, for giving me the perspective of someone in his shoes.
I appreciate it!