Hi all,
I'm new to this forum and hope that I'm posting in the right place.
I've been married for 10 years and have 3 beautiful children.
Our marriage for the first 2 years was absolute bliss. When the children came along things as obviously would, became much more difficult. I began getting short tempered and frustrated over things.
Basically I had become selfish. I could probably go into this for over an hour but wanted to keep it short. This almost led to a divorce between I and my spouse at least twice. I began to step back and look at myself through my wife's eyes. What I saw was heartbreaking to say the least and is very difficult for me to think about. I can't believe that I used to behave that way! After discovering this about myself, I knew that I needed to make some serious changes. Over the past few months I've done everything that I can to show her how much I love her and I can't believe how excited I am about our marriage once again. It was great to see how she has reacted to me since I've gone through this change.
For the past two years our sex life has basically been non existent.
Maybe 10 times at best. I've started doing things like making date nights and sending the kids to the grandparents, holding hands and opening doors, cards, flowers, little love notes. In addition to cleaning the whole house on a daily basis. She's always met with a smile and told how much I love her. We made love for the first time in months a week and a half ago which was incredible for both of us.
I began to feel like everything was back on top and was thrilled.
Last night I decided that after the kids were in bed we would have a romantic bath together in the jetted tub. I arranged flowers and candles with a hot bubble bath. When she came into the bathroom and saw this she gave me a funny look and told me that I'm moving too fast and need to back off that she needs time. After swallowing the large lump in my throat I agreed to slow down. She said that I'm an entirely different person now and she needs to get to know that person once again before making love. This kind of gave me some crossed signals which confused me. I guess that I feel like I want to make up on some lost time and I really want her to look at me the way that she used to when we were first married. Maybe I'm still being selfish? Any input would be greatly appreciated. I could never go back to what I was like before! I don't want to come off being selfish ever again. But by speeding into things again maybe I am.


Thanks!

Bryan