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| Articles in Topic: dr.brenda's Articles | Topic Tools | Search This Topic |
 December 2nd, 2008 10:36 AM |
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Loneliness is one of the great problems of our times. Despite being constantly on- line, tuned into virtual reality, the heart needs human contact and warmth. We all have a deep hunger to belong to community or family. Yet, before we can truly feel real connection to others, it is extremely valuable to understand the difference between loneliness and being alone.
When we come together out of fear of being alone, this togetherness is not really satisfying, but often a way to hide from the disc... [Read More] |
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October 29th, 2008 01:42 AM |
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When rough times come, each of us has an intuition of the best way to handle the stress we feel. Rather than listen to all the catastrophic predictions, we stop and first turn within for wisdom and guidance. Implicitly we are asking, is there a way of seeing things differently? And, of course, there always is.
Rather than respond automatically, we are stopping for a moment and discovering a way of looking at the world through fresh eyes. As we do this, not only do we calm down, but often disc... [Read More] |
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October 29th, 2008 01:29 AM |
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No matter what is happening around us, we do not have to react impulsively, but can learn to respond. Giving into automatic negative reactions can become addictive and it's important to learn how to diffuse them. The steps offered here are simple, but powerful. The more we practice them the stronger we become.
Tapping Into Our Fundamental Strength In Zen we say, "Open the treasure house within." This reminds us that we are all endowed with many resources that we're not awar... [Read More] |
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September 8th, 2008 07:54 AM |
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Today it seems more difficult than ever to build a lasting relationship and find the fulfillment all desire. In many circles, traditional relationships are a thing of the past and commitment is not automatically a part of anything. Along with this, we see increasing loneliness and divorce. For many, it has become hard to find a suitable partner and create a lasting foundation.
Although love and relationships are approached differently in Jewish and Zen practice, the teachings interact in many... [Read More] |
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June 27th, 2008 12:49 AM |
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Although many seek love, even though they find it, some are unable to let it in. Though they are led to tables spread with endless food and precious delights, no matter how much they eat, they aren't able to taste the food, cannot be satisfied and continue to search for more. These individuals leave the banquet with hungry hearts.
The same is true in relationships, though there are so many people in the world, some are always lonely and hungry, not allowing themselves to truly love. These ind... [Read More] |
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June 3rd, 2008 09:22 AM |
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We all seek ways of becoming balanced and at peace. Unfortunately, most of the time the ease we discover is temporary. As soon as a new situation, or unwanted encounter arises, we are often thrown back into our familiar mode of upset and concern.
Authentic peace of mind, however, is unshakable. No matter what changes appear in our world, we are able to welcome them. Authentic peace of mind is not based upon a series of ideas or beliefs, but is the very heart of who we truly are. When we... [Read More] |
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March 30th, 2008 09:34 AM |
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When we are little we play with toys.Most of life is playing with toys. It's fun, enchanting, passes the time and distracts us from one of our greatest fears - boredom, nothing doing - being no one. When nothing is happening and we're bored we feel empty and dull. When there aren't distractions and entertainment, some don't even know if they're really alive. Many use their time and life s... [Read More] |
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December 1st, 2007 01:58 AM |
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We never ask the meaning of life when we are in love.We are meant to live a life of love. When we're not in love, something's the matter. Unfortunately, most of us, unaware of this, become resigned to disappointment, loss and upset in relationships. No matter how successful we are in other aspects of our lives, many do not feel entitled to the same success in love. This is considered natural as one "grows up" and gives up the fantasies, foolishness and dr... [Read More] |
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December 1st, 2007 12:12 AM |
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Conflict is a lethal force that undermines our lives in all kinds of ways. Sometimes it erupts openly and other times it camouflages itself and covertly undermines relationships. Some expect conflict to arise. They feel it is necessary in order to get what they want out of a situation. Others feel it is always necessary to fight for what is important to them. These individuals feel they have a right to express anger, that it provides them a sense of strength and power.
However, the sense of st... [Read More] |
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November 1st, 2007 01:09 AM |
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There is one sure fire medicine which cures all pain and opens the way for your greater good. It allows you to sleep well at night, wake up refreshed and filled with enthusiasm for your daily tasks and ongoing relationships. This medicine is abundantly available, has no side effects and can be taken in large or small doses regularly. You need no one to prescribe it. The more you take, the sweeter it is.
The medicine is the practice of thankfulness. Although there are endless cures for anxiety,... [Read More] |
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October 1st, 2007 02:41 AM |
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As the level of stress and confusion in society and relationships escalate, we need to find a new way to deal with difficulty more urgently than ever before. Rather than live from the epidemic of fear, lies and games most are in the grip of, it is worthwhile to take time to discover steps to living in simple truth. If we do not do so, our sense of well-being becomes impaired, as does our ability to live constructively with hope and well-being. Once we step on this new road, no matter what... [Read More]
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September 1st, 2007 03:02 AM |
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Many individuals spend a great deal of time in relationships wondering if the person is the right one for them, whether they should stay or go. This question can become so persistent that it becomes hard enjoying being together, interferes with being able to relax and allow the bond to grow.
There are a number of different factors that cause individuals to doubt their relationships. Some say that although they love the person they do not know if they are loved back; others don't know if they'... [Read More] |
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July 1st, 2007 03:27 AM |
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The greatest gift we can give one another in a relationship is the gift of our true selves - being who we are. For some this is not difficult, but for most it takes practice to take off the masks and becomes real. It might seem frightening or dangerous to take off our masks, put away games and just be. However, many times difficulties arise in relationships, because who we truly are is not available.
Our need for real contact with each other is so strong, that when it is not there, our partne... [Read More] |
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May 1st, 2007 03:31 AM |
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Even when they are in relationships, many wish to become closer to their partners and share quality time that is truly intimate. They want to feel free to express all of themselves. Although many try in all kinds of ways, it is helpful to learn some direct steps, which open emotional doors between partners and deepen the bond they share.
The heart and soul of intimacy begins with communication. However, few really know how to listen, or how to find the right time or way to express what is ins... [Read More] |
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April 1st, 2007 03:39 AM |
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Most of us live our lives hungry - hungry for love, attention, praise, success. But no matter how much we take in, it’s hard to be satisfied. The pleasure lasts for a little while and then before long we’re craving more. It is easy to spend each day waiting for tomorrow when we will get what we dream of, arrive at our goal, find a new job, have good weather, or finally, magically, meet the love of our life. Then things will be better. Right?
Wrong. When tomorrow comes it’s another day, just lik... [Read More] |
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March 1st, 2007 04:05 AM |
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We are all basically treasure hunters, searching for the secret to happiness in relationships. Usually, we believe the treasure is buried outside ourselves, perhaps in the perfect person, or in skills, techniques or tools we acquire. Due to our constant searching, we often do not see what is right in front of our eyes. We are not in touch with who our partner is right now, what they really want from us or how to respond.
Value-Centered Relationships turns all this around. It focuses upon simp... [Read More] |
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January 1st, 2007 04:10 AM |
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Some believe that romance should just come naturally, and if it doesn’t, or if the closeness you once shared starts to subside, it means that something is wrong. Nothing is further from the truth. Keeping romance alive requires time, attention and the willingness to begin fresh over and over, to learn how to constantly reconnect. There is nothing as lovely as taking time to re-kindle the closeness.
Here are some steps that help develop the ability to reconnect with our partners and with ourse... [Read More] |
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October 1st, 2006 04:56 AM |
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We all want love, want some lasting relationships, and it can seem this is hard to find. Yet, there is never a scarcity of relationships, never a scarcity of love. What keeps us from finding the love we are so hungry for? The most common answer to this question is that we must find the perfect person. There is always something wrong with the people we meet. We have not yet found the "right" person, who can make us really happy, or can show us how to "sing". Or, if we have... [Read More]
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September 1st, 2006 05:01 AM |
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To care for things makes the whole world come to life.It’s delicious to feel well nourished in relationships. There’s a hunger we have for all kinds of relationship food: warmth, kindness, appreciation, time spent together. However, when this is not forthcoming some will do anything to get fed. In order to understand the true workings of relationships, we must understand the real process of nourishment - of cooking and being fed. Right from the moment we are... [Read More] |
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June 1st, 2006 05:06 AM |
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“I can sleep with her, marry her, take care of her, but love – that’s something else,” said Tony, a married man in his late forties. “Guys don’t like to talk about love. They don’t know what to say. Of course guys do love. But they express it differently.”
Despite this fact, most women do not feel happy unless they hear those golden words, I love you. Men need to hear them as well. And yet, as much as men want love, many fight it to the last minute. Love can make men feel vulnerable, childlik... [Read More] |
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May 1st, 2006 05:10 AM |
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If you are unhappy, fighting difficulties in your relationships, be aware that there is not anything necessarily wrong with what is happening to you right now. It does not mean your partner is the wrong one, or that you are failing.
Our life is a flow of alternating conditions, good and bad, day and night, times of strength and weakness, high tide and low tide. As soon as we label a condition as bad or dangerous we go into an emergency mode and start our endless fight against what is happen... [Read More] |
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February 1st, 2006 08:25 AM |
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Many times we begin to feel stuck in our relationships, as though it’s impossible to make the changes we want to make. Old habits reappear frequently. Past memories block the warmth and happiness we’re hoping for. Common knowledge tells us that it is difficult to overcome our obstacles.
However, the truth is that there are easy, unfailing steps we can take to healing our relationship right now. These steps are easy, enjoyable and life giving, both for ourselves and others. We do not have to l... [Read More] |
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January 1st, 2006 08:30 AM |
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Some believe that romance should just come naturally, and if it doesn’t, or if closeness starts to subside, it means that something is wrong. Nothing could be further from the truth. Keeping romance alive requires time, attention and the willingness to start fresh over and over, to learn how to constantly reconnect.
After the initial excitement of being in a relationship is over, many allow things to fall into a routine and begin taking one another for granted. They assume they know what thei... [Read More] |
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