Top Synergy examines the long-term commitment of individuals to their relationships through two different lenses:

a) the individual incentive to commit both now and in the future; and

b) the individual capacity to live up to this commitment.

From the initial angle of "do I want to commit?", commitment is equivalent to a conscious decision whereby one cares for another and wishes to maintain the relationship. The individual deems the relationship valuable enough to invest the energy it requires over time.

However, even though the search for commitment is based on the deeply instilled human need for security and predictability, a strong and prolonged commitment requires that we maintain confidence in both ourselves and our partners. How many of us trust ourselves? By extension, how many of us can wholeheartedly trust others? Hence the question "can I commit?"

Top Synergy analyzes three aspects of the commitment component of a relationship:

1) The ability of an individual to make a long-term commitment;

2) The same applies to the other individual;

3) The intensity attributable to a relationship that is only possible when both parties gain meaningful values and assets from their capacity to commit.


Q. What types of relationships require commitment?
A. Actually, all long-term relationships strive upon mutual commitment. Common illustrations are: marriages, close knit partnerships and friendships.


Q. What if I my commitment to my partner is one-sided?
A. Most important - don't take your partner's behavior personally. Many people have an all-encompassing challenge with commitment, may it be career-oriented or in their relationships. This phenomena relates to lack of coordination (disharmony) between that individual's goals (blueprint), plan of execution and tools to serve the plan.

Long-term relationships have a hard time surviving without mutual commitment. Even if one feels that his or hers commitment is strong enough to support the relationship, this unilateral power has the tendency to erode over time. Remember, however that life goes on and offers ample opportunities. Crunch your current relationship through the Relationship Analyst™. We feel certain that you will detect your partner's lack of commitment, but at the same time - you will gain confidence in using Top Synergy's tools to identify your future successful relationships.


Q. How can there be mutual commitment when it lacks on one side?
A. Imagine a relationship where one of the partners demonstrates total openness in his/her communication and actions, and it rubs off the other so he/she slowly grows and develops confidence in sharing and receiving constructive criticism?

In general, most of us are are strongly affected by our social- and relationship-settings. We'll close up and withdraw in one environment and open up and grow in another. It all depends on the quality of soil, fertilization, and other nourishment or its lack of.

If our partner demonstrates the power of total love and acceptance, of allowing for vulnerability and for giving control away (that is giving false control away in return for true sense of wholesomeness) - it will eventually rub off on us and cause us to open up to further learning and escalated development.

However, this pattern works both ways. One may find it hard to stay committed to an unfaithful partner, to be attracted albeit rejection, and to maintain openness and sincerity opposite constant petty criticism.


Q. How can I know whose influence will be greater when energies are not balanced?
A. Currently we weigh the "weak link" (lesser energy) at 60% and the higher energy that is radiated into the relationship at 40% only. Even so, if one partner's commitment is very strong, it can bring up mutual commitment to levels above average.

Probings by members have brought up recently a better way to find out whose energies are more dominate and should be given higher weight when calculating mutuality. It brings us back to the research phase and first years on the web (1999 - 2005), when we also computed the "power" of each partner's energies. Since we are now re-designing the reports and the underlying database structure and processes, we'll reinstate this data and use it to derive at the strength of mutual energy based on the balance of power between the parties.

If commitment is so important how come there are married couples (for many years) that have average or below commitment towards each other?

Thank you, Alex, for giving me a platform to talk about the most important aspect in human existence.

Let's turn your question into the answer itself: "It is so cool that people can (or should) make choices and change. They can even develop long-term commitment in spite of basic character traits."

Choice is what it boils down to. We are here, on this planet, to do something that is hard to achieve anywhere else: make choices, overcome obstacles, and change the obvious. This is the meaning of growth and development, and this is what we see in some of these married couples that have average or below commitment.

Others may stick together due to social norms, financial considerations, and fear of change and the unknown.

Think about how powerful is the knowledge that nothing is curved in stone, that everything is given to negotiation, that our faith is in our own hands. However, if you are being attracted to three new guys and want to study the probability of having a successful long-term love relationship with them - it will make sense to observe with whom commitment comes naturally and with whom it takes swimming upstream. Right?

__________________
Cheers,
Shlomo Tommer
Top Synergy Admin
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I don't understand what a score higher than average or below means in mutual commitment, if one of the people in the relationship doesn't have commitment towards the other person. It's confusing a little.

Imagine a relationship where one of the partners demonstrates total openness in his/her communication and actions, and it rubs off the other so he/she slowly grows and develops confidence in sharing and receiving constructive criticism?

Most of us are followers in social- and relationship-settings. We'll close up and withdraw in one environment and open up and grow in another. It all depends on the quality of soil, fertilization, and other nourishment or its lack of.

If our partner demonstrates the power of total love and acceptance, of allowing for vulnerability and for giving control away (that is giving false control away in return for true sense of wholesomeness) - it will eventually rub off on us and cause us to open up to further learning and escalated development.

Still, we weigh the "weak link" at 60% and the energy that is radiated into the relationship from the stronger party at 40% only. It still happens often enough that the outcome is stronger than average.

Please let me know of this further explanation is required.

__________________
Cheers,
Shlomo Tommer
Top Synergy Admin
Facebook me!

I understand, thank you.

I note in most of my reports, I get a one for commitment. Do many of your calculations as to commitment quotients tend to score one or lower for that? Or is it something in my natal chart that tends to reduce my score in that area? Is this what most people average, or is it caused by something unique in my natal chart? Also, as a general question, what kind of astrological chart would get a high rating in commitment? Thanks. Claygal

I have personally never seen a report that has a higher rating than one in commitment, but I'm sure they must exist. I think most people get one or below that. If you think about it, wouldn't a commitment higher than one be dangerous or unhealthy? Even if you did a report with yourself I don't think you would get a higher result than 1. There are plenty of unsuccessful relationships between people, a higher commitment than that in a wrong kind of relationship might be tragic.

I had not even considered that higher numbers might be someone was obsessive or even a stalker type. I see what you mean!

That would be an obsession I think mostly triggered by very high passion levels or intimacy but I think commitment is positive, it just might not be in the right relationship.