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Relationships Made Better Questions, thoughts and beliefs about relationships. Ask for advice or help others. Join a discussion or start your own. Remember that you are among loving and caring friends. Read here articles about this topic that were written by our professional community members.

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Old August 30th, 2007, 04:49 AM
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Red face Summer ends but so does our relationship?

I've had an incredible summer romance, everything I have always wanted, but now that autumn's coming he's beginning to pull away. We're both going home in another week, our summer house will be closing. What can I do now to make sure it lasts?
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Old August 30th, 2007, 04:51 AM
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If he's beginning to pull away after you've spent time together in a summer vacation house, it may well be that he's preparing for separation. You've had lots of time together and now that the structure is about to change, there may be anxiety on his part about how things will go from here. It is also possible that he has had a different view of the relationship than you have.

There is no way to make sure something lasts. All you can do is sit down at this point and talk things over. See if he has the same wishes you do. Don't make it a do or die discussion, just a gentle exploration of where he sees things going from here. It's possible he may be relieved to discover that you want things to continue. Or perhaps he may not feel that way.

The best way to help things go forward is not to place any pressure on the situation, to be open and accepting and allow things to grow as they will. And, if he does not wish to go forward, do not use that to invalidate either yourself or the time you've shared.
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Best wishes,
Dr. Brenda Shoshanna
Discover the surprising truths about love that will save your relationships, in Dr. Shoshanna’s new e-book Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships). Dr. Shoshanna is a psychologist, relationships expert on iVillage.com, speaker, and author of many books, including The Anger Diet, (30 Days To Stress Free Living), Zen And The Art of Falling In Love, (Simon and Schuster), Why Men Leave (Putnam), and many others. Finally, this is Dr. Brenda Shoshanna's personal website.
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