i am curious how many people are out there that have open relationships and, if u do have one, does it work out? i very desperately need some feedback on here if u don't mind. and i kinda need it A-S-A-P.

any help is so appreciated.

thanx.

I don't believe in open relationships but if you do good luck! I don't think you can have the same kind of intimacy in an open relationship as you can have in an one on one r. and you can only really love one person at a time and real love means real commitment to me.

yeah - that's kinda how i feel. but my b/f (of almost five months) doesn't want to make that full committment yet. he lost his wife a year ago May and now, even at his age (late 40s), wants to play around instead. i live w/him though. that's what makes it hard. and now, i know he's went out on a date w/someone last friday. we had a huge argument, and he said that he wants to still be able to do as he wants, even though he wants me there. i know - i know - he has his cake and eats it too. i am totally in love w/the man and he knows it. i know he's taking advantage of that, but for some reason, i just am not ready to leave. it kills me knowing that he's doing this. but i'm such an idiot and stay and go thru it. i'm petrified to leave.

i am just so sick of being hurt, so sick of not finding someone that I really want and wants me in the same regard. i have a couple of guys that i dated before that still want to see me, but it's not the same. it seems like they are all out for one thing only. the one i'm with right now wasn't like that in the beginning. we did everything together, went everywhere together. we still do on the weekends and have an absolute blast together. it's a very strange situation. and, to be honest, i just don't know how to deal with it. i'm so at rock bottom right now. here i love a guy w/everything i have, and he isn't ready for it, and yet, i still stay.

well, now that i have that off my chest and everyone can tell me what a total, stupid idiot i am, i'll stop complaining.

thanx for your input, Alex. i feel the same way.

Hi,

Did you do your top synergy chart with this man that's clearly on the rebound?
He may need time to be free, he is not married to you and lets face it he just lost his mate, depending on how long they were together it maybe just not time for him to commit again.

Do you enjoy being with him? Can you enjoy him w/out owning him?
We are not swans & ducks, we do not naturally mate for a lifetime, and if we were meant to, divorce would not exist, nor would promiscuity.
Not a popular belief I have no doubt, but that doesn't matter to me.

Would you be happier without any of him at all? I don't think you are an idiot, we can't make others do what we want, only do what we need, want for ourselves.

You say "they are all out for one thing", well as far as I'm concerned that one thing is really important, maybe it is to this man, & not as much to you.
If you haven't check your chart, i find they do show the potential of a couple or lack there in.

Best,

M~

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okay. for those that answered me on here. after spending the past month or so thinking about doing it, i put into action something big. i gave my boss a tenative notice to quit my job late September, and i'm moving from New England back to Texas. i know it's not going to work out for me and my b/f (if he can be called that), and i know i'm living in a fantasy world, and i'm so sick of going thru this again and again and again. i give up on men! I'm going back to TX to spend some time w/my family and try and get a fresh start. i really don't wanna leave New England, but i have absolutely no one here. i have to go where i can be w/someone. if i can't have a man in my life, then maybe family is all i need right now. i guess if it's meant to be, then it'll happen.

thanks for ur advice.

I think you're doing the right thing for yourself and I wish you good luck!

I still think that first and foremost you are running away from yourself, but it's definitely so much better than the horrendous end results of open relationships that start for no other reason that artificial recovery of your hurt ego.

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Best regards
Don Quixote

I almost missed the train, but it's not too late to welcome you aboard, texangirl. We'll even keep fresh supply of maple sirop and lobsters while you're away

Don't forget to frequent the forum while in Texas. We want to hear all about your whereabouts, both mentally and emotionally.

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Cheers,
Shlomo Tommer
Top Synergy Admin
Facebook me!

Dear Texan Girl,
I think you made a good descision. I know it can be hard to believe that some where out there exsist some one who you can have a caring and loving relationship with but I urge you to never give up and never sell yourself short. Something that I have done to help me focus on a relationship that is fullfilling to me is to write down all the qualities of a great relationship. Use this list as a guideline and as inspiration. It certainly worked for me. When are able to define what you want from life, you are much closer to having a fullfilling and loving future relationship!